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”✧ ✧ ✧A woman’s on vacation and calls homeShe asks her husband, “How’s my cat doing?”The husband says, “The cat’s dead.”The woman’s upset and says, “Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could have just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’t get her down.”“Okay, I’m sorry,” says the husband, “I’ll remember that.”The woman says, “Anyway, how’s my mother doing?”The husband says, “Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”✧ ✧ ✧What do you get when you cross a whore with a computer??A fucking know it all✧ ✧ ✧Good HeavensThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left.“Janie, do you have a story to share?”“Yes. ‘I’m in plastics.’ ‘Really? How interesting.’ Rachel sounded as if she couldn’t have cared less. ‘And what part of the U.S. are you from?’ ‘Atlanta.’ ‘Ah, yes. The home of Coca Cola.’ ‘Yeh.’ The man moved from stool to cushioned seat. ‘You know about that, huh?’ ‘I visited for a while.’ ‘That’s great. Say, your glass is empty. Let me get a refill.’ ‘Oh no, thanks. One is my limit so early in the evening. There’s a lot of drinking time to go before bedtime.’ ‘Yeh.’ He moved closer still, one more move and he would be on her lap. ‘You a resident of this city, ma’am?’ ‘Do I look as old as that?’ ‘Beg pardon?’ ‘Do I look old enough to be designated as a ‘ma’am’?’ ‘You sure don’t.’ The American sounded enthusiastic. ‘Why, you’re the best looking da….wom….lady in this bar.’ Paul tried hard not to laugh. The da….wom….lady looked around. ‘That’s not saying a lot, is it? I’m the only one.’ ‘No, I mean it.’ Now he sounded sincere. He was moving in for the kill. ‘You are dazzling.’ ‘Thank you..
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